If I could have seen ahead this far into my life when I was first married, I would have done things a lot differently.
Make it easy on yourself. Just say sorry when you do stupid things. Easy-peasy.
Fast track to a good relationship…overlook all the stupid crap and just be nice. Sparky and I have been married for 27 years now and the best of those years were the ones where I wasn’t yapping all the time. Your kids know when things are strained. They get miserable when things are strained. You get miserable when your kids get miserable. A vicious cycle, it is.
So being nice to your spouse is actually self-care.
Keep life simple. Appreciate what’s good about your spouse, remember why you fell in love. But if that’s too hard, just consider the fact carefully that you will have to deal with miserable kids if your marriage is filled with angst. It’s imperfect, but in the long run, you’ll probably be glad you kept you head. Or, in the case of me, kept my mouth shut. Super-shut.
Marriage is sacrifice. And that’s good practice, because kids are sacrifice. Relationships require sacrifice. Putting our own desires aside, and listening to, being there, caring for another human being.
We just spent eight days at our All Saints Catholic Homeschool Camp. Camp is a great place to practice virtue and self control. Take the normal intensity of home life, add a lot of late nights, sugary drinks and dirt and you create the perfect opportunity to become a saint. Camp is a great place to work on your marriage. Because it’s so public. A great reminder that we are usually our best selves in public and, well, God is always there. Just like all your camp friends, except quieter.